Dawn to Dusk Forever
by Bloody Koalas
Summary: Amber died. Wilson's in shatters. House is upset. There's no way anything remotely happy can come out of this. Or can it? NOW COMPLETE
1. Innocence

**A/N: There has been some controversy as to whether I, Hadley of the Bloody Koalas, am capable of writing about happiness and love. **_**Well,**_** people, (cough cough, KT, cough cough) I am indeed 'capable' of writing such things. I'll prove it, with a handy-dandy fic 'suggestion' from...a bloodthirsty Canadian teenager. She bites. Watch out.**

**NOTE: This will be updated!! This is not the end. If you like what little you see here, alert me and more shall come!**

**Disclaimer: Avril Lavigne, of whose lyrics I've included to **_**spite**_** that particular Canadian, is not me. Likewise, David Shore is also not me.**

* * *

_Waking up I see that everything is okay  
The first time in my life and now it's so great  
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed  
I think about the little things that make life great_

_I wouldn't change a thing about it  
This is the best feeling..._

_This innocence is brilliant  
I hope that it will stay  
This moment is perfect  
Please don't go away  
I need you now  
And I'll hold on to it  
Don't you let it pass you by_

_I found a place so safe, not a single tear  
The first time in my life and now it's so clear  
Feel calm, I belong, I'm so happy here  
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere_

_I wouldn't change a thing about it  
This is the best feeling..._

_This innocence is brilliant  
I hope that it will stay  
This moment is perfect  
Please don't go away  
I need you now  
And I'll hold on to it  
Don't you let it pass you by_

_It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming  
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling  
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry  
It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming  
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling  
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry_

_It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry  
This innocence is brilliant  
Makes you wanna cry  
This innocence is brilliance  
Please don't go away  
Cause I need you now  
And I'll hold on to it  
Don't you let it pass you by_

_This innocence is brilliant  
I hope that it will stay  
This moment is perfect  
Please don't go away  
I need you now  
And I'll hold on to it  
Don't you let it pass you by_

* * *

James Wilson glanced over brightly to the vacant half of their bed, tired brown eyes catching hold of the image of Amber, her body resonating softly in sleep. Everything was fine. She was okay. She was safe. She was beautiful. They were together.

He blinked.

Her image vanished, and in its spot remained the paper she had so hastily scribbled down that fateful night. He grappled for it franticly, sighing in relief when the piece of crinkled parchment was once again nestled safely against his chest. _She's coming home,_ he would say to himself._ She's okay._

Unhappily, he set the paper down where she would probably—no, definitely—return that night. It had been a week already. She would be back soon. The note said so. Amber didn't break her word. Amber never broke her word. She promised. She would come back. Wilson knew it.


	2. My Sunset

**A/N: Song called by Jimmy Eat World. I find the band fitting, don't you?**

* * *

_I see it around me, I see it in everything.  
I could be so much more than this._

_I said my goodbyes—this is my sundown.  
I'm gonna be so much more than this._

_  
With one hand high, you'll show them your progress.  
You'll take your time, but no one cares.  
No one cares._

_  
I need you to show me the way from crazy.  
I wanna be so much more than this._

_  
With one hand high, you'll show them your progress.  
You'll take your time, but no one cares._

_  
With one hand high, you'll show them your progress.  
You'll take your time, but no one cares._

_  
No one cares.  
I could be so much more than this.  
No one cares.  
I wanna be so much more than this.  
No one cares.  
I could be so much more than this.  
No one cares.  
I wanna be so much more than this.  
No one cares.  
I wanna be so much more than this.  
No one cares.  
I wanna be so much more than this._

_  
Good Goodbye, lovely time  
Good Goodbye, tinsel shine  
Good Goodbye, I'll be fine  
Good Goodbye, good goodnight._

* * *

All was silent, all was good, all was peaceful and dreamful and splendid…

And then a noise sounded off like a firecracker on the Fourth of July. It was his alarm, and it hadn't been set. Wilson always got up with an alarm, House thought tiredly. Wilson was a Cuddy's pet. Wilson always arrived on time…

But he didn't anymore.

House slung his legs over the side of the bed and onto the floor, limping heavily into the kitchen, where he threw together a sandwich. It wasn't exactly a breakfast food, but it would have to do. Packing the unruly sandwich of rye, tomato, turkey, lettuce and pickles in a plastic bag, House grabbed his cane and his helmet and was out the door before you could say 'Egomaniacal bastard'.

_House didn't like pickles._


	3. Kill

**A/N: Song by Jimmy Eat World. Again.**

* * *

House closed his eyes.

He opened them.

Nothing happened. Nothing new happened. That wasn't fair. It wasn't possible. Couldn't something just happen? Could God just smite him and have it be done with? Couldn't something else happen so they all wouldn't have to linger on Amber's death?

_Well, you're just across the street;  
Looks a mile to my feet;  
I wanna go to you._

He knew it wasn't really his fault. Not really. But what Wilson said…that chilled him to the bone. It wasn't fair. Just because she had to go and die…he was right when he nicknamed her Cutthroat Bitch.

And he wanted to apologize. But even more than that. He needed to tell Wilson how he hurt. How he felt, because he did have feelings and it wasn't all an act. House wanted to show Wilson everything.

But Wilson wouldn't let him.

_Funny how I'm nervous still,  
I've always been the easy kill;  
I guess I always will._

Wilson always knew what to do. House would never tell anyone, but he relied on Jimmy more than he'd ever relied on anyone. He trusted him. That was special…or at least, House had thought it was. Now he realized Wilson was capable of dropping it, and that hurt.

_Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance,  
Chance,  
Chance?  
Or only one way that it was always meant to be,  
Be?  
You kill me you always know the perfect thing to say,  
Hey hey,  
Hey hey.  
I know what I should do but I just,  
Can't walk,  
Away._

He knew he had to leave Wilson alone. His friend needed time alone. But House didn't want to be alone, either. And no matter he chose, he'd be alone. He'd have been ditched.

Wilson was just like his dad.

_I can picture your face well,  
From the bar in my hotel.  
I wish I'd go to you.  
I pick up, put down the phone.  
Like your favorite Heatmiser song goes,  
It's just like being alone._

But he had worked so hard, so damn HARD! He had tried to make it up to him. He had said sorry! That wasn't worth anything?

Amber wasn't worth anything?

_Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain,  
Vain.  
I need answers for what all the waiting I've done means,  
Means.  
You kill me, you've got some nerve but can't face your mistakes,  
Hey hey,  
Hey hey.  
I know what I should do but I just, Can't turn…Away,  
Away,  
Away._

House knew what he should do. He knew he should leave Wilson to leave New Jersey. He shouldn't do anything to harm that. It was Wilson's choice. He couldn't change anything. He shouldn't even try.

_So go on, love,  
Leave while there's still hope for escape.  
You gotta take what you can these days;  
There's so much ahead and,  
So much regret.  
I know what you wanna say,  
I know what you wanna say,  
I know it, but can't help feeling differently,  
I loved you,  
And I should have said it,  
But tell me, just what has it ever meant?_

House knew what he was supposed to do.

_I can't help it baby, this is who I am,  
Am.  
I'm sorry but I can't just go turn off how I feel,  
Feel.  
You kill me, you build me up,  
But just to watch me break.  
Hey hey,  
Hey hey.  
I know what I should do but I just,  
Can't walk…Away…_

But House never did what he was supposed to.


	4. I Will Be

**A/N: Final chapter. Song by Avril to further spite aforementioned Canadian. Readers: I love you guys, you're the best! Thanks so much. AND: Please, don't mock me. I'm kind of a cheesy gal. This is my forte. If its not angsty, its clichéd. Try to see the beauty…:)**

**BUT: Really, try listening to this song, 'I Will Be', while you read. It's by Avril Lavigne, and you can find it on Youtube. This song is like, super crucial to this story. I really think it summarizes this point in the H/W relationship.**

* * *

House considered knocking for about two seconds. Then he remembered who he was and pushed open the unlocked door, chuckling internally about how Cameron would cry if she had to kill a puppy, a theory he had been working on the entire way over to keep from thinking about Wilson. His conclusion has been that Cameron would first burst into tears, and then consult Cuddy. Chase would have chickened out, but Foreman would probably do it anyway, albeit with his ever-present smart-aleck attitude and that single eyebrow raise--classic.

Wilson glanced upward, his previously sleeping body now rigid in fear. He had heard a noise…he had heard a _loud_ noise. Was it Am—_no, _he reminded himself darkly. It couldn't be. Was it Cuddy? Even if it was, it was too early to be visiting. Yet Wilson, upon turning, realized with pain that it was not to far past 11 o'clock a.m., and he certainly wouldn't be getting any awards for perfect on-time percentages.

Then Wilson heard the flick of a light switch, and without even looking, he knew it had come from the front hall. A tiny buzzing sound filled the air, characteristic of that half-dead light bulb he should've gotten fixed ages ago but kept putting off. _Oh…man…_thought Wilson anxiously. _I bet it's a robber. I bet he's come to kill me…_

Wilson almost laughed. What did he care about death? The only person in the world that he cared about, besides dear sweet Amber, was a despicable son of a…and not only that, but House was also an ass who didn't care about him or his life at all. House had totally used him. Wilson couldn't be near him anymore.

Suddenly there was a shuffling noise, and a clatter of something that made Wilson wince with distaste. _Probably a thief off to steal the…uh…electronics?_ Wilson realized slowly that the whole thing didn't add up. The only room accessible from that hall was the kitchen, and there was nothing of value in there. So…what the heck were they doing?

And, just as suddenly, the back door slammed shut. All noise in the house ceased, and Wilson couldn't help but be overcome with tremendous curiosity. What happened? What'd he steal? What was even worth stealing?

He bolted out of bed as quickly as his still-tired body would let him, tip-toeing to the kitchen as not to wake the neighbors. The apartment complex was pretty small, so little noise could easily be magnified. When Wilson reached the kitchen, he was met with a surprise:

_Jimmy. Here's lunch because I know you aren't going to wake up in time for breakfast. You don't have any food and I figured you'd be hungry._

Underneath the scrawled note was a sandwich. A real sandwich, not one you'd buy in a store. And it had pickles…Wilson's favorite.

Crossing the tiled kitchen floor, Wilson couldn't help it when tears started to form in his eyes. He didn't let them drop, though. It would take awhile for him to forgive. House was still an unbelievably self-centered bastard. _But he's mine. _He couldn't help but think.

Wilson knew one thing—House cared enough to do that for him. House, of whom he hadn't thought capable of remembering his _birthday_, had made him lunch. That never happened. Ever. _Ever._ As Wilson leaned against the counter, he began to think. Maybe he really did care. Maybe House valued his friendship. Maybe Wilson could learn to start loving him.

_There's nothing I could say to you  
Nothing I could ever do to make you see  
What you mean to me…  
All the pain, the tears I cried  
Still you never said goodbye  
And now I know how far you'd go_

_I know I let you down!  
But it's not like that now  
This time I'll never let you go…_

_I will be __all that you want  
And get myself together  
'cause you keep me from falling apart!  
All my life  
I'll be with you forever  
To get you through the day  
And make everything okay…_

_I thought that I had everything  
I didn't know what life could bring  
But now I see, honestly  
You're the one thing I got right  
The only one I let inside  
Now I can breathe 'cause you're here with me_

_And if I let you down  
I'll turn it all around  
'cause I will never let you go!_

_I will be __all that you want  
And get myself together  
'cause you keep me from falling apart!  
All my life  
I'll be with you forever  
To get you through the day  
And make everything okay_

_'cause without you I can't sleep  
I'm not gonna ever ever let you leave  
You're all I've got  
You're all I want  
Yeah!  
And without you  
I don't know what I'd do  
I could never ever live a day without you  
Here with me do ya see  
You're all I need_

_And I will be all that you want  
And get myself together  
'cause you keep me from falling apart  
All my life (my life)  
I'll be with you forever (forever)  
To get you through the day  
And make everything okay (okay)…_

_I will be all that you want (I'll be)  
And get myself together (get myself together)  
'cause you keep me from falling apart  
And all my life  
You know I'll be with you forever  
To get you through the day  
And make everything okay…_

* * *

House paced the floors of the Diagnostics room. Did he do enough? Could he show enough of himself to provoke forgiveness? It didn't matter. He had done what he had to do. Que sera sera: whatever will be, will be. All he could do was wait.

He stopped pacing and entered the conference room where his team was currently debating and, flashing Thirteen one of his classic snarkaliscious grins, he quipped, "Get your eyes off my shapely ass and onto those folders. I've got work to do."


End file.
